Snappy Comebacks For Ventriloquists & Their "Partners"

Back in the 1940’s and 1950’s a vent by the name of Bob Brethen wrote some great material and I found this by him and thought I would like to share it because it still fits with ventriloquism today. He said ” The following are not gags in themselves for the most part, but are comebacks for different situations and may be used by the ventriloquist when the situations arise. The quotes are by the figure:

After the dummy has explained something to the ventriloquist he says” Do you follow me or do I go alone.”

The dummy makes a stupid remark and the vent calls him ignorant: “I’m a dummy what’s your excuse?”

Ventriloquist claims the dummy is wrong about something:”All right!! I admit your wrong.” or ” I may not always be right, but I’m never wrong.”

After the vent asks something he says to the dummy,” You heard the question now whats the answer?” and the dummy says,”I ain’t heard that yet !!”

After the vent puts forth some ideas on a subject: ” Your arguments are sound, All Sound!”

After the vent makes some derogatory remark about someone or something: You can’t tell a cigar by the curbstone it sits on!”

After the vent says something in a bragging manner:”You are one of the few persons I’ve ever met that can strut sitting down!”

After the vent is rather stringent with the dummy about some matter:”The easier life is made for you, the tougher you make it for me!!”

After the vent makes and error or says something foolish: “One of these days you are going to find yourself at the wrong end of a shooting gallery!”

If the ventriloquist breaks in while the dummy is talking: “Please don’t talk while I’m interupting.”

As mentioned in the beginning these are better learned and used when needed during your act but not as gags themselves. This will help you look like you are doing some clever adlibbing .



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One Response to Snappy Comebacks For Ventriloquists & Their "Partners"

  1. Larry Harris says:


    I enjoyed these little tidbits. I have a few that I use when I use my drunk figure involving stopping at the free clinic because they were offering “free shots.” That always got a laugh.


    Larry Harris – ComicVent

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